What I Learned At Camp Diana

So earlier I mentioned that I got sent to Camp Diana after I acted like a complete ass at Petsmart. This is what happened...

When I got adopted, one of the agreements was that I'd get some training. I don't know why I need training, I know how to act like a dog. I run around, I grab things off counters, I bark at other dogs, and I pull on the leash. What else do I need to know?

Well, according to jc and Cindy, I shouldn't grab things from counters, bark at other dogs, or pull on the leash. Running around is apparently OK, at least most of the time.

They signed me up for a basic training course at Petsmart, and I was supposed to start about two weeks after that. jc mentioned to the trainer that I have "issues" with other dogs when I'm on a leash. By "issues", I think they mean when I bark, snarl, jump and act like an idiot towards the other dog. I'm just telling them that I'm in charge, and they need to respect my authority! (jc's note: What Sherman Says (mp3)) The trainer said she could "fix" this, although I still fail to see a problem.

So two weeks roll by, and we all jump in the car to go to Petsmart for the first class. We went early so jc and Cindy could discuss some things with the trainer a little more. We get up there, and there's a large glassed-off area, so jc took me in there and was throwing the ball around while we waited for the trainer to show up. After a while, some lady comes over and tells us that class was canceled because the trainer had to help her daughter move into the dorm, and she should have called us. Turns out she didn't call anyone.

So we left the glassed in area, and were sitting around just outside of it. Some nice people came by, patted me on the head, told me I was a handsome dog (I am!), and fussed over me a little bit. Then some other people came in the store, and had a dog with them, and I used my best "This is *my* turf!" bark. They looked scared, so I figured I had gotten the message across. jc said something about "Yea-ah. He's here for class for this." and the people looked sorta like "Uh oh".

Those people went down an isle, and some more people came by, patted me on the head, told me I was a nice looking guy (I am!) and stuff. Then another dog came in, and I had to tell him this was *my* turf! And jc said, "Yea-ah. He's here for training." They didn't look too impressed either.

They went down and isle, and some other people came by, looked at me and said "Was that the dog that was barking? We were at the back of the store, and we thought someone was fixing to get massacred." They didn't pet me or tell me how pretty I am (I am!).

At this point, jc said to Cindy "We need to call Diana." and Cindy agreed. So we got home a little after that, and jc called Diana. I could sorta hear both sides of the conversation, and she said "Oh yea, I can fix him." At first I thought she meant like what happened at the vet when I got "fixed" (and wasn't broke!), but then I realized she was talking about me having to tell other dogs I was large and in charge. She and jc talked for a good hour or so, and some arrangements were made for me to spend two weeks with Diana.

Now I keep referring to it as Camp Diana, but it's really DogStar Training Academy. Diana has been working with aggressive dogs for years (I'm not!) and jc and Cindy knew her from when they boarded Anvil and Sunshine (two dogs I've never met) several years ago.

A few days went by, and on a Sunday morning we all got in the car and went for a ride to her place. I jumped out of the car and Diana petted me and told me I was a nice looking guy (I am!), and what not. She and jc and Cindy started talking about what I should be learning, but at that point it was sorta "blah blah blah Sherman blah blah blah". Diana stuck me in the backyard for a bit, and they went back to talking. I kinda started digging under the gate, but someone noticed and I got scolded. So I went back to pacing around the backyard. I smelled other dogs, and some chickens that were off aways, and some cats and stuff.

Next thing I hear is the car starting and jc and Cindy left. Without me!! *arrrooooooo*

The next two weeks were kind of a blur. Diana spent a lot of time with me making me sit, lay down, walk next to her, sit, lay down, walk next to her, sit... you get the idea. At one point, I did manage to bust out of the crate and eat $30 worth of high-end dog treats. I had some beef jerky, and gluten free stuff, and a couple pawfuls of other stuff. It was good! I also dragged out the towels from under the bench and laid down for a nap. Diana was surprised when she found me all sacked out there.

At the end of two weeks, jc and Cindy came back, and I showed them what I learned. Diana taught jc and Cindy the tricks and words she used on me, and I walked around (tried to chase the cat, but I wasn't allowed), and sat, and laid down, and stuff. Then we got in the car and headed home.

I was really glad to be home and see Makeeta and Moon (although she didn't seem to feel the same way), and be with my people. I was almost starting to think they had abandoned me. But I was pretty sure jc wouldn't do that, 'cause I know they had to pay money to bring me home, and they seemed to like me.

So all in all, when it was an intense two weeks, I think I learned some stuff, and I'm better off now. jc says it's a lot more pleasant to take me on walks. I'm still not so good with other dogs, but I'm learning some self control.

Oh, I almost forgot! Diana did a "psych evaluation" on me. Apparently I have a low defense drive (which means I'm not likely to bite someone. I already knew that), a high prey drive (chase the birdies! chase the kitties! chase the squirrels!), and a virtually non-existent pack drive (I am "independent"). This means I do the things I want to, when I want to, for my own reasons.

*bark!*