I Have A Thing About Cellphones

(I thought I'd take this opportunity to share what I did last night, even though I haven't finished bringing everyone up to date on everything else that's happened).

As you know from my previous posts, I have this "thing" about cellphones. Last night I tried to bring the cellphone to jc so I could call Cesar Millan ('The Dog Whisperer' guy), 'cause I had a question about training my humans. I couldn't get the charging plug loose from the phone, so I just bit through the cord.

I had left the phone by the basement door, because something else shiny caught my attention for a moment, and then I went out for walkies, and then jc went to bed, and I laid down in the bedroom.

A few minutes later Cindy comes in and says "Guess what Junior (she calls me that sometimes) did this time?" I don't think jc really wanted to know, but she told him anyway. I had completely forgotten about it at this point, so I jumped up and suggested they call Cesar, but they ignored me.

jc took the charger to work on Thursday and spliced the cord back together. I was admonished not to do that again, and if I wanted to make a call, please just come and tell them, don't try to bring the phone.

I'm not supposed to play with the remote, mess with the cellphones, read the books... How's a guy supposed to be a hip, modern, technologically-ept pup if I can't play with the cool toys?!?

Bark!

I Am Houndini!

Or Sherman-dini... See the picture on the right here? That's me, in my crate. I stay in here when neither jc or Cindy are home. They say it's because I steal dish towels, tear up magazines, destroy library books, and chew on cellphones (of course, if she actually TOOK IT WITH HER, it wouldn't be there for me to make calls on, right?), and it's for my own safety. Personally, I think it's so Makeeta gets the toys to herself.

The crate was given to me by some friends of theirs. It didn't have the tray on the bottom, and the botton has 3 bars running across and 2 bars running the length. Cindy made me go in when she went out, but I figured out something neat. If I stand up, my back presses against the top of the crate, but my feet will stick out the bottom, so I can walk the crate around. So I walked it into the living room, tipped it over, and escaped through the bottom.

Imagine how surprised Cindy was when she got home, and all three of us greeted her at the top of the stairs. She wasn't sure how I did it, since the crate was still upright (I only tipped it over far enough to crawl out, not all the way over), and the door was still locked. Pretty smart, huh?

When jc got home, he just started laughing. Then he went downstairs and made a bunch of noise, and a bit later, brought up a sheet of 3/4" plywood that just fits into the bottom. Now I can't do my Shermandini trick anymore. Looks like when I go in, I'm in to stay. But I'm practicing using my psychic dog mind rays to make them *think* they've locked the doors. It hasn't worked yet, but I'm still trying.

The picture at the top is grainy because it came from a "web cam". jc set one up in his office that watches the crate and hallway, and one in the living room. I think he wanted to see if I could do my Shermandini trick again. I know a couple of times he's called Cindy on the Nextel to have her check on me. I only had the dish towel to keep it away from Moon. Yea, thaaaat's the ticket!

I gotta say, though, I think the plywood is a bit more comfortable then laying on the bars. After jc cut it down to size, he sanded the whole thing with 200 grit paper, so it's nice and smooth, and I won't get splinters in my butt. They're always looking out for me, and I do have it pretty good here. Fresh water, a lot of food twice a day, cookies, and every Friday we get Greenies! Yumm.

Ok, that's it for now. Next time I'll tell you about going to Petsmart and how I acted like a complete ass, and wound up for 2 weeks at Camp Diana.

Woof!

I Learn To Use A Cellphone And Try To Learn Reading

(This is the picture of me that Yvonne put up on the web to help me find my forever home.)

OK, so jc is home from work, we went outside and practiced sitting, laying down, and walking nice, so now he's ready to type for me some more.

When I got to my new home, for the first few nights they made me sleep in a crate. I guess they were worried I'd try to start something with Makeeta or Moon. Although I ate the hot dog bits they tried to bait me with, I made it really difficult and put up a pretty good fight about going in. Once or twice they tricked me when I went to the back of the crate to grab the hot dog. They gave me a shove and locked me in! I caught on to that pretty quick.

On the fourth night, after 45 minutes of me being smarter than them, they gave up and let me sleep outside the crate. I'm pretty good at sleeping, and I stayed in one of two spots, either right on top of this hole that blows cold air ['air conditioning vent' --jc] or next to the edge of the bed. I think this pleased them because I haven't had to sleep in the crate since then. I think the real reason I don't like the crate much is because I can't see out except for the front, and I like to know what's going on.

Unfortunately, I was still being forced into a crate when they went out during day. Usually Cindy is home with me, but sometimes she goes shopping, to the gym, or whatever. She'd try to bribe me with treats, but I really don't like the crate. She'd end up grabbing me and making me go in, which I really don't like. But I kinda got even...

One night they went out to dinner with some friends, and I was in the crate (I put up quite an argument!). jc had flipped the crate door over so it opened the other way. There's some holes in one side for the hinge, and some slots in the other for the locking bars. With the door flipped over, you have to carefully align the locking bars into the holes. Well, he didn't notice the bars weren't locked properly, and I didn't say anything. After they left, I waited for a little bit to make sure they weren't coming right back.

I pushed on the door, and as I expected, it opened right up. I was free, Free, FREE! Woo hoo! I charged around the house, Makeeta and me wrestled a bit. I found some magazines on the floor and tried to look at the pictures, but they got all shredded.

Then I discovered Cindy left her cell phone on the table. They've got that Nextel service with that push-button thing that makes the phone make a weird little noise. I figured since they went out to dinner, I'd call them and tell them to bring us back a doggy bag. I bit on the phone and it made the Nextel noise. But when I tried to bark my order, the button wasn't pressed, so they didn't hear what I wanted. I tried a couple more times, but without "opposable thumbs", I couldn't make it work (I heard later they were confused then worried when the phone beeped and no one was there). I think I bit a little hard, because there were some extra holes in the phone. And I sort of gnawed on the antenna some...

Then I found a couple books from the library, and opened them up looking for pictures and trying to make sense of the words. I pulled some pages out to see them better, but got kinda frustrated so I took it out on the books. This reading thing is overrated, so I gave up.

A little bit later they came home, and me, Makeeta and Moon all greeted them at the top of the stairs. I don't think they were expecting me to be there, though. I ran into the living room to show them my work, and they were all "ooooh noooo....".

I sort of expected to be yelled at for getting out of my crate and using the phone without permission, but nothing happened. jc said something it being his own fault not making sure the door was securely locked.

A couple days later I got another crate, this one made of wire that I can see out of. It's a lot better, and I really don't mind going it into it. jc leaves it in his office, since I only have to go in it when they both aren't home.

Next time I'll tell you how I got out of it. *grin*

Bark!

Hi, I'm Sherman (part II)

In my last post, I told you how I wound up with jc, Cindy, Makeeta and Moon.

The first couple weeks after I was in my new home, Makeeta pretty much ignored me. I'd try to get her to play, but she'd just kinda lift her lip and snarl. Then she warmed up, and we're like best-buds now. On a normal day, we wrestle quite a bit, and chase each other in a loop through the living room and kitchen.

We've got some toys we play with. There's a loop of rope with a handle, and I'll get her or one of the humans to play tug with me. I think they're surprised just how strong I am, even though I only weigh about 70 pounds. Makeeta is a little bigger than me, about 85 pounds or so, and man, can she pull! I put all my weight and strength into it, and she STILL drags me backwards.

There's also some plastic bones I like to chew on. On the ride home, we stopped at some place called Petsmart that had a lot of food and toys and stuff. I got a bath there, and they cut some mats out of my ears and back end. Yvonne and her friends gave me a bath before I left, but some of those mats were pretty tough, and I think they didn't want to make me look too stupid with a bunch of fur missing. I feel a lot better without them, and I look more handsome (*grin*). Anyways, at Petsmart, they got me a Nylabone. It kinda tastes like ham, but not really. I've chewed it down about half-way now.

Sometimes I'll be chewing on the bone and leave it for a minute to go check something out, and Makeeta will run over and grab it, and then lay on it. She's not even chewing it! I think she's doing that to tell me she's the boss. She's older, bigger, and a girl, so I guess it's true. I don't really care, as long as she likes me.

I keep trying to get Moon to play, but I think she's a lost cause. I overheard the humans saying something about she may have been owned by an older couple or something and never learned how. Moon either ignores me, or just growls. Makeeta says she's tried to get her to play the last couple years with the same results. Oh well, her loss! It's fun to charge through the house, chase the ball, play tug, or whatever.

I think she might know how to fight, though. A couple times while Makeeta and I were learning to play nice together, we got into some fights. Then Moon tried to jump in. I don't know if she was trying to help me, help Makeeta, or just bite one of us. We all got yelled at real bad. jc can shout"NO!" so loudly it nearly scares the pee out of me. He'll wade in between us and yank us apart. I'm pretty sure if I bit him, even accidentally, my furry little butt would be in deep, deep trouble. Luckily, I'm a lover, not a biter.

jc says he has to go to work, and he'll finish typing for me later. Next time I'll tell you about how I tried to learn to read.

Hi, I'm Sherman

[I can't type, so I'm dictating to my human. Any typo's, mispellings, incorrect grammar, etc are all his fault.]

I'm Sherman, a male German Shepherd Dog. They say I'm about 2 years old, but no-one knows for sure. I don't remember much from before my new humans adopted me. I was having a good time roaming around Walton county when someone called Animal Control and claimed I was vicious. That is *so* not true...

Anyways, after doing some time in the animal control lock-up, someone there called Alcovy Pet Rescue. A nice lady came down, grabbed my ears, pulled my tail, stuck her hand in my mouth, grabbed my paws and generally tried to piss me off. But I'm a friendly sort, so I let her, especially since I thought it might get me out of this place. And it must have worked, because then...

I went to a boarding facility that Alcovy uses, and I met this nice lady Yvonne who thought I was the cat's meow (you know what cats are good for? A snack! Hee hee hee), and she was pretty sure she could find me a forever home. She took my picture, fed me, found a comfortable place for me to sleep. It all seemed pretty good, then she got mean. She took me to the vet. I'm pretty sure I've been to a vet before, but it wasn't anything like this!

They jabbed me with some needles, poked and prodded me, fussed over me, and then I got real sleepy. When I woke up, my 'nads were gone! And I had stitches. It was the weekend, and no one was around, so I ripped them out. It probably wasn't a good idea, but, hell, I was BORED. There was just me, a few barking dogs, and I was cooped up in the crate, and the stitches hurt. What else was I gonna do?

So I got sleepy again, and when I woke up, I had MORE stitches. Something about "damn, he was lucky we didn't have to remove his pee-pee." Not sure what that meant, but it didn't sound good. So anyways, I go back to the boarding facility and hung out there.

The picture she took of me must have been really good, because it was only up on the computer for a half a day before some humans called and wanted to meet me. Yvonne said we could all meet at Petsmart, but they veto'ed that idea, saying it would be too distracting for me. They decided to come out to the boarding facility and meet me here.

They arrived Saturday morning, and I was wound up, let me tell you! We went into a large fenced off area, and they petted me and I charged around and kinda acted like an idiot. It was a lot of fun, and they must really like me, because an hour later, I was in their car, and we were going to my forever home! I also met a lady named Becky, who is real cute.

We rode for a bit, and got to my new home. Turns out these humans (jc and Cindy) have two other dogs, so that was cool. One of them, the old Golden Retriever named Moon won't play with me (she gets all growly). Makeeta, the Shiloh Shepherd was sorta stand-offish, but she warmed up to me, and we play all the time now.

That's me, and what happened up to getting to my new home. I'll get jc to take some more dictation about the first couple weeks and bring everything up to date. I wish someone had told me about this 'blogging' thing when I first got home. I gotta lot to say!